What About Me?

What about me? How many times has that been the cry of one of my children? What about me, what do I get? It is a universal, normal (sadly) condition of each child to look to themselves and want what they believe they should have coming to them. Fairness. Equality. Me.

But what about me? I mean me, myself, an adult, a mother, a supposedly mature grown-up? Lately, due to some circumstances beyond my control I have come to the realization that my heart has the same cry as that of a child.

What about me? Will I succeed? Will I fit in? Will I get what I want? Who will be my friend? Really? Am I that self-focused? Sometimes, sadly, the answer is yes.

This morning I was reading in Philippians. While my heart was yearning for me and what I want, somewhere else, deep inside, said, "What about them?" Who are they, I pondered? Well, everyone else, of course. Philippians states, "Do nothing out of selfish ambition." Ouch. "...look to the interest of others." Double ouch. "Do everything without complaining or arguing." Yikes!

In a world that constantly promotes balance, these "nothing" and "everything" words seem extreme. Yet somehow I know they are core to truth and peace and will bring me away from the cry of my childish "What about me?"

As I sat in the early morning solitude I made a decision. Perhaps I have made it before. Maybe I have been dragged off into a "me" state of mind for the umpteenth time in my life. But I am here again, confronted with the truth of God's word. I decide to stop thinking about me and what I get.

It is time to focus on someone else. Look out for their interest. How do they fit in? How can I help them get what they need? How can I be a friend to someone who needs a friend?

To be honest it is a relief. Looking to self is, at it's core, bondage, chaos, frustrating. Yuck. How do I go there? I'd love to say that my heart reaches out to the world around me in love and charity. It would be a lie. My heart is constantly deceiving me into thinking I must look out for number one. Just like a kid.

But, thanks be to God for his constant love and truth that brings me back to what I really need. It is not me. It is not even others. It is Jesus. What about him? It is his love. It is his words, his truth, his forgiveness. Only in him can I look beyond my own selfish needs and follow those words in Philippians. Maybe today my heart will look to others and cry, "What about them?"

ENCOURAGEMENT: Read the book of Philippians today.