Home Base: Covered

When I was a young teenager I was a target for the mean kids. I was the new girl in school and just entering junior high. Where I came from, we didn't dress like the kids at my new school. Instant geek. I tell you this not for pity, it was a long time ago. I tell you this because of a friend I spoke to today and what she said to me.

Those mean kids teased me a lot and I spent two years wondering what I could do, even trying some things, to make them like me. I wish I had liked myself enough not to bother changing for them, but I didn't.

After two years, a new girl came to school. She was beautiful and nice and funny. We became fast friends and lived close to each other. The mean kids (most of them) liked her. Suddenly I was a bit more acceptable because of her. But she never bothered with them, she was my friend and she didn't care about the mean kids. She was nice to them, but she never ditched me because I wasn't cool in their eyes.

Well, that was 33 years ago. My friend doesn't live near me anymore. And our plans to raise our children together, have coffee regularly, coax our husbands to become buddies, and everything else changed when she moved to another state 12 years ago. I miss her - a lot.

We talk on the phone often and see each other not often enough. But she has never lost the space of affection in my heart because, when the other girls didn't like me because I wasn't good enough for them, she liked me just the way I was.

I've grown up and changed. I've learned to be me no matter what. Or at least to remind myself to be me no matter what. But there is something deep down inside of me. It is a scar left by my wounds of inadequacy, feeling unacceptable. I don't think you can suffer teasing for two years and come away unscathed. I only notice it when I feel that way again.

Five years ago I moved to a new town for about the tenth time in my life. Oh-oh. New girl again. It didn't bother much at first, it has been a busy time in life with my kids. But in the last year I've had some friendship deficiencies. Again. Rejection. Ouch. I can feel that scar.

I called my out-of-state friend today, just to say "Hello." She can always hear hurt in my voice. I told her about my feelings of not fitting in. Struggling with friendships. I said (in my ever dramatic way), "Maybe the only friend the Lord wants me to have around here is my husband."

Her voice brightened at my comment and she said, "Hey, that's important. You've got home base covered. That's huge!"

Here I've been feeling 13 again. Here I've been letting the struggles of relationships shove me over like a bully on the playground. Her statement, my old, faithful friend, cut me to the core.

I have a wonderful husband. He's not wonderful because he is perfect. I gave up hoping for that years ago. He's wonderful because he loves me for who I am. He doesn't care if I don't dress right. He loves me. He doesn't care if I'm awkward and emotional sometimes. He loves me. We have a good marriage. And our kids! They are teens (need I say more) but we have a lot of fun together as a family. We talk and laugh. We spend time together. We have bonfires and movies and go to church together. I feel safe here. With them. Home base. I've got it covered. She was right.

ENCOURAGEMENT: If you've got home base covered, count it as a blessing. If you don't, make it your goal. Relationships inside the walls of your home are #2 priority (God first!).