Dear Hannah...

It's almost Christmas. Again. I feel as if the older my children get the faster time goes by. Was it really a whole year ago we decorated a Christmas tree with the same ornaments? Seems like a month at best.

Did I say the older my children get the faster time goes by? Same old story. Parents have been saying that for... ever. I remember when my kids were small and people would say to me, "Enjoy them, it goes by so quickly." I'd roll the invisible eyes in my mind and wonder why they said that so often. Didn't they know how long days at home with dirty diapers and runny noses could be?

Well, here I am. It is going by quickly. Just as they said it would. My oldest is 16. Yesterday I listened to her sing and play piano at our school's Christmas Chapel. She was so poised. So talented with things I didn't teach her. So... herself. Independent.

I sat and watched her with a mixture of amazement and nostalgia. What happened to that little girl? She's all grown up. I know, I sound just like those "older" parents who used to say the same thing over and over again... It goes by so quickly... so quickly... so quickly. I get it now.

This morning I got up early. I began paging through some family journals. I fixated on my daughter's journals. I started it when I was pregnant with that first little gift from God.

After she was born came: Dear Hannah...

January 1, 1998
Dear Hannah Mae, 
...You are nearly 10 weeks old... we had quite a Christmas... next year I'm sure you'll be running around with all the other kids...

Wednesday, August 5, 1998
Dear Hannah Mae, 
You won't believe the changes since I last wrote! You now have almost four teeth.

March 18, Saturday
Hannah Mae! You are getting so big. Yesterday we took down your crib and you started sleeping in your "big girl bed."

9-25-01
"I'm gonna get a tissue because I'm gonna wipe the wain out of my eyes." Those, my Hannah, were your words just now. You were sent to your room for not listening. Life is tragic.

1-8-02
Today, Hannah, I told you that you were a gift from God to me. You asked, "Did I have a bow on my head? Was I all wrapped up with tape?"

June 18, 2002
Dear Hannah,
Yesterday after church... you prayed, "Jesus, please come into my heart..."

11-8-02
Hannah's first piano lesson (you can read, too!!).

Oct. 21
Dear Hannah, 
Soon you will be six years old.

3-23-03
Hannah,
Tomorrow your daddy leaves to serve in a war... 

6-28-03
Hannah, 
This morning you said you are going to be a "healthy" farmer and an animal doctor when you grow up. You said, "I'll get up early in the morning to feed the animals, cut the chickens' heads off, and go to the animal doctors."

October 2005
Hannah Mae,
You had your ears pierced about seven weeks ago.

June 2007
First time at camp! You stayed over night for five nights. You loved it!

Dec. 5, 2008
Hannah,
If I had to say what defined the year 2008 for you, it would have to be the song "Fur Elise."

August 3, 2010
...you landed your first babysitting job...

March 21, 2011
...speaking of "cute," you are really into straightening your hair lately. Daddy finds it odd. He said all his life he has only seen girls curling their hair...

Monday, Sept. 5, 2011
Dear sweet Hannah,
School starts tomorrow and I can hardly believe that summer is over.

Tuesday, Sept. 4, 2012
First day of school at Lake Region Christian School. You are so excited...

Saturday, July 20, 2013
Hello driving girl!

Sunday, October 27, 2013
Dear Sweet 16,
Today is your birthday. At this time of the morning, 16 years ago, I was holding you... I really don't know where the time has gone.

It's almost Christmas. My dear Hannah has been busy with her music, school, wrapping gifts for her friends. When I look at her I see a beautiful, young (almost) woman. She's in the kitchen right now talking with her dad about homemade facial scrubs while he pours coffee.

If I close my eyes I can almost imagine she's three again and that little voice and those little arms are reaching up to her daddy. He picks her up and gives her a squeeze. She loves him so. He always was her favorite. And I really don't mind. I think it makes me love her more.

Today I think I'll write in her journal:

Saturday, December 21, 2013
Dear Hannah, 
Christmas break begins today. Two whole weeks off. I know this time will go by so quickly... let's enjoy it.
Love, 
Mom