Growing Away

My son is getting taller. I think he's outgrown me. But It's not the growing taller that troubles me, it's the growing away.

This morning I dropped him off at school early. He had to catch a bus with the rest of his soccer team. Tournaments. Out of town. Without me. Without his dad. Without his sister. There was a time, long ago, that this kid wouldn't go anywhere without one of us. Times have changed.

This morning he had to get something out of his locker in the school so I went inside and waited to say goodbye. I know he's only gone for three days, but he still seems like such a kid. A tall kid.

He walked toward the door, ahead of me, leaving. I said, "If you don't hug me goodbye here I'll follow you to the bus." He turned and hugged me. Then, he left.

When he was a baby, I was the one to see his first smile. After that he smiled a lot.

He said "da-da" before "ma-ma." It still seems a little unjust to me, given I was the one home with him all day.

I remember when he was two he told me he wanted to be a fire truck when he grew up. And the day before he turned four he caught his first fish. I cooked it for breakfast on his birthday and he ate the whole thing by himself with a proud smile on his face. Those were busy days. Busy, happy days.

Then came going to camp, playing baseball, and bird hunting with his dad. I'm not sure how the time has gone so fast and when this kid of mine became so independent. Getting on a bus and going away somewhere without me. Imagine.

I watched that bus this morning while it was dark outside and I remembered how much my son wanted to ride on a bus when he was little. We homeschooled back then and the thought of being on a bus was fascinating to him. He felt as if he was missing out on something.

At the same time I felt as if I had found something. Time. Time with my kids. Time to know them. Time to teach them. To learn from them. To watch them grow up. I guess I just didn't think it would happen so fast.

I can remember my own growing away. Wanting to be out of the house. Out with my friends. Having fun. Feeling grown up. It makes me smile. It makes me happy that my kids are normal. Growing. Going. Living life and exploring this world.

I just wish I could have that little boy back for just one day. Even for one morning. Or one breakfast. I'd fry him a fish and enjoy his little boy smile as he ate it.

The First Day of Christmas

I think we beat the stores to Christmas this year. Yes, we celebrated Christmas on Friday night, October 11. It was lovely. Played the soundtrack from "Elf," opened gifts, ate lots and lots of food, and had a great time of gathering together.

Sound a bit early? Sure, but we have some wonderful friends from the Dassel, Minnesota area, (our previous home), who come up every fall and spend a weekend with us. Since we do not see them during the holiday season, we have Christmas. I love it.

This year I received a Whatchamacallit candy bar, a Lindt chocolate bar, a huge bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos, and a few other tidbits. Junk food is a treat for me and my friends know it. They spoil me at Christmastime.

My favorite gift, however, was the fellowship of friends. It seems during this busy time for my family, we don't have enough time to visit friends and just have fun. Laugh. Joke. Eat. Fun.

One of the reasons I love this extra-early Christmas celebration is because we avoid the hectic, the rush, the cramming in of celebrations, the stress of getting the shopping done, and everything else we cram in between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day.

It's also enjoyable to shop for Christmas gifts betwixt the Halloween decorations. I feel somehow gratified to defy the commercialism that comes with any widely celebrated event by shopping for Christmas amid hollowed-out plastic pumpkin buckets and fuzzy bats hanging from elastic strings.

Don't get me wrong. I do love the actual Christmastime of year. The snow, the decorations, the caroling and the excitement of children. But my October Christmas celebration gives me a head start on reminding myself what the holiday is about anyway. It's a celebration of love. A holy day of recognizing God's greatest gift to the world: His Son. It is an everyday celebration. A January through December celebration.

I know Christmas Day is a bit off yet, but this year, I'm not going to spread out my celebrating, my festivities and my fun. I'm shopping for the "real" Christmas Day celebration the first weekend of November with some friends. Maybe that will be gratifying also, to shop amid the pilgrim hats and turkey decals.

At any rate, I love the October celebration of Christmas. For those of you on my shopping list, don't be surprised if I deliver a bright, red package in early November with a greeting of "Merry Christmas!"