Who Do You Perform For?

Over the weekend, my daughter had two orchestra performances. Four, really, if you consider that each of the two scheduled performances included music from two separate orchestras. She does the piano part for both. There is a more mature, seasoned orchestra and a beginner orchestra. Both, however, are wonderful and very accomplished. The advanced orchestra is mainly adults with some advanced youth. The beginning orchestra is comprised of some adults and many, many children. It is considered a fiddling group, as it is mainly strings - violins, mandolins, cello, bass, etc.

I sat through the events on two separate days, enjoying watching my daughter play. But there was someone else in the group that caught my eye. James. He looked about eight, maybe nine. He played a violin, very well.

The thing that stuck me, other than his extraordinary ability to play the fiddle, was some sort of far away expression on his face when he played. From the time he walked on the stage, through each song, until the performance was over, he seemed to be in a world all his own. It was clear he was not performing for anyone in the audience, anyone on stage. He seemed oblivious to the presence of so many others, minus the occasional glance at his conductor.

I wondered to myself, who he was performing for. He didn't seem conceited in the least. He wasn't performing for himself. He didn't seem self-conscious. He wasn't performing for the audience. He clearly wasn't intimidated. He wasn't performing for his peers. He wasn't uptight in any way. He wasn't performing for his conductor and teacher.

This little boy was simply playing. He was doing what he loved and doing it so well and with so much assurance that he was like a magnet for my eyes. I found myself watching him with such joy that I had to restrain myself. Orchestra performances do require some semblance of dignified behavior from audience members.

James started me wondering who I perform for. Do I do what I do with concern in my mind about what others think? If I am being judged? If I will make a mistake? I long to perform unrestrained, like that little fiddle player. He stands in my mind as a perfect image of doing what you love. With gusto, with intensity, with single-minded devotion. Such a big lesson from such a small boy.

ENCOURAGEMENT: Perform as if nobody is watching.